Airport! Heavy luggage. Diet coke and dick of the day hat making security's day. Banter hats.
Day 1 Birds at breakfast. Pool gymnastics. Stacey gets a free meal for being greeky. Squeak the whale. Burnt vuvuzela. Clara and her bloody chips. Mophead alert. Woodlouse! Geko. Catface's cockroach. I like ze virgin, 5 euro for virgin? Moist sock WIN. Free drinks. Clara's pole dance. Stolen swedish flag. Returned Swedish flag. Hunter chunder. Midnight swim in sea.
Day 2 Early sunbed fail. Marine buries Sammy. Sea comments. Floundering. Mother Nature 1 Flem 0. Neon Night. Karaoke. Like a Virgin. We love the Dutch. I neeeeEEeeeeed Catface's loooovveeeee. The Macarena. YMCA. Bar Street! 1 hour 10 minutes. 3 bars, not 2. Jo drops her drinks, massive fail. Flem is a classy bird. Knee chunder. Lesbian Otter? 301 Flanter. Pain au Chocolat munter.
HANGOVER. Flem's Birthday. Coffee is funny. Not so elegant 'elegance centre'. Total eclipse. Cool snake. Feeding the cats at Grandma's pitta. Destroyed sheets. Ginger hair and purple attire. Hotel rave. We love the Dutch, again. Tour song. "Fuck it, i'll have a beer". Catface digs big noses. Chased by Swedes. Bum slapping strangers. Midnight swim in the sea. Stargazing.
Day 4 Water park. THE FACE. The rash. "I can fart bigger waves" - Joella Dawkes. Beached whale banter. "What is chunder?" Singing. Clara gets confused. Speedos. One guy hung to the right. Priya's scream of death. Rash plaster. Rash cream. Cobweb banter. Toga night. We no speak Americano. El mashed. Shisha times. Snorting shisha times. Goggles and broom. Happy Birthday Vicky! Grace proposed to Swedish man, lucky guy. Pole dancing. Free 'champagne'. MAN RAPE! Grace steals more clothes. Aircon <3.
Day 5 Ostrich farm. Sweaty Cas. 1kmwalk. Scary monkey. Ostrich is YUM. Nat's catnaps. Sunset swim. Baywatch fail. Graduate results. Rugby girls are geniuses. Sore rash. Old committee huddle. New committee photo.
Pub golf night
1st hole - your choice, on the beach
2nd hole - pint of cider, English pub
3rd hole - sex on the beach, Big Brother
4th hole - Jager bombs
5th hole - white wine, shisha bar
6th hole - tequila, rock bar
7th hole - water!
8th hole - red wine, spanish bar
9th hole - blow job, Pacha
Masters and Virgins tied together. Clara couldn't hack it. Orange t-shirt + glasses + baseball cap = FIT. Licking the bass. Shout out. Bar scrum. Woodlouse! Mooning guy got RAPED (don't mess with 15 rugby girls). Splits. Cheerleading. Flashing. Waterfight! Gay, 80's body builder in stone washed denim shorts ftw. Sweaty men. Broken shisha. Angry chip lady. Red wine chunder. Hunter chunder, again. Pole dancing. Ignorant non-French speaking lady. NO SKINNY DIPPING, says Nat. Hiding from trouble.
Day 6 HANGOVER. Parasailing. Water sports. Marine seduced 70 year old into free ride. Too hot to shop. Last social on the beach. Sad goodbyes. Stacey thought the umbrellas were people. Some went to Greek night. England match FAIL. Pirate night. Sammy and Priya danced behind the bar. Hunter chunder, yet again. Priya was el mashed. Woodlouse! Andrei is beautiful. Stripping Andrei. Touching Andrei. Biting Andrei.. Marine gets lifted. Grace and her boyfriends. Hunter pole dancing. The dance. We no speak Americano doo doo doo doooo. THE FACE. Complimentary sweets. Plant banter – bravo, Sammy.
Day 7 Home time = sad time. Grace wore all her ‘borrowed’ clothes. Grace 4 Harry Potter 4 life. Tour bracelets. Sleeping by the pool. Clara humped squeak. The last supper. Crepes. Sleeping on the floor at reception. 2 hours to check in. What a faff. Final photo. Goodbyes :(